I’m reading all of these end-of-the-decade round-ups with interest but when I see exercises that ask me to write down my own milestones from the last decade, I feel the urge to dig in my heals.

The last decade was one of the most challenging–if transformative–decades of my life so far. I lost the two family members that made me feel loved in the world. I was spat out on the other end of a job I thought would solve my financial problems and released friendships where I found myself again in the role of chronic over-giver. The first few years felt as though the ground kept moving and would never stop and the thought of looking back brings to mind the biblical story of Lot’s wife who looked back at Sodom and turned to salt.

A while back while she was in the midst of her yoga certification, my young cousin reached out to ask me a question and about her grandfather and her grandmother, who by that time had divorced. Without much thought, I answered her according to the truth as I knew it—

Yesterday I was on a panel—via zoom—at Harbourfront Centre in Toronto. If you’ve never been to the city, it’s located on the water’s edge and is a popular location for festivals, art, concerts and performance.

The topic was “Raising our Sons: White + Black Mothers Speak”. I don’t have a whole lot of experience being a mom yet but it’s something that I’m quickly forming opinions about. I had already held a similar support and thought session like this for clients shortly after the riots began. But yesterday was different because the audience was strangers and it was extra important for me to speak clearly from the truth of my experience.